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I am the filmmaker and am getting lots of questions and requests for advice from other parents, many of which I don't feel qualified to answer, and many of which I think other parents would be able to answer equally well. I would like to propose that parents join this forum and exchange ideas with other parents.
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Resentment

Submitted by theboy on Wed, 2007-04-25 12:05.
Have you tried to find local support for yourself or child with AS? Have you ever run into a wall in ASD support groups, where it seems anyone with HFA or AS is regarded as a whiner or like they do not have problems? I feel like I am made out to be some sort of monster, showing up at a support meeting for starving people, bragging about a sore belly I have from stuffing myself silly at an all you can eat buffet! Everyone at the table looks over “wishing” they had my problems! It is like, unless your child smears feces all over the wall, you don’t have the right to complain, because it could be so so much worse! While I am very grateful that I don’t have a feces smearing 12 year old, that must certainly be terrible, I am tired of being treated like I don’t have any problems at all! That is the hardest part of dealing with AS, it seems you get flip flopped chronically between two poles, one minute your child (or yourself) is from MARS, and the next, the problems are completely swept under the carpet as “insignificant”. Do you need to have an ASD with an IQ under 70 before you have a problem?
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parent to parent

Submitted by Anonymous on Tue, 2007-04-24 07:07.
This is a reply to Marianne about her comment on "parent to parent" and the nead for parents with an aspergers child to share information about different parenting techniques that they use to cope with their asperger situations. First of all, Thank You Marianne from the bottom of my heart for making this film. Finally family and friends believe what I have been trying to tell them for years. My daughter now also knows that she really is not the only child in the world with aspergers! My 14 year old daughter has aspergers and was first diagnosed with ADHD when she was 6 years old. The diagnosis of aspergers came at age 10. My husband and I ( and sometimes our daughter and her brother )have spent no less than 25 hours a year in a psychologist's office who specialises in aspergers. That works out to $15,000 spent in the last 4 years. If I had the money I would be in that psychologist's office every week because it is the best support that we have ever had. If you can find a specialist in your area like we have than I would highly recommend going to see him/he on as regular a basis as possible. Having said all this I would still love to connect with other parents who have a child with aspergers. I think it would be especially helpful for me to connect with parents who have a girl the same age as mine or older. Ofcourse I would be more than willing to share my experiences with parents whose children are younger than mine. My biggest piece of advice is...as a parent do not take this personally! It is not your fault or your child's fault that aspergers is a part of your life. Also, keep your cool.....do not get angry. Easier said than done sometimes but it is very very important to keep it together and be a calming force in your child's life. I personally have chosen to go on antianxiety medication in order to be able to do this. Marianne set a wonderful example of this in the film...and when she "lost it" she sent Adam away for the weekend to a safe place so that she and her husband could get back to a calmer state of mind. We must teach our child the details of how to socially interact....not all at once...they can not do this...but one baby step at a time. Every small step forward should be celebrated either in your own mind as the parent or with your partner or best friend. Positive reinforcement to your child is also a very effective way of keeping their spirits at a healthy level and encouraging any effort they have given. Never ever "give up" or say this to your child. As their parent you are their only hope for the help that they desperately need to grow up and live a happy and productive life. There really is always hope...we need to hear about success stories of grown children....they are out there if you talk about this with the right people.
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