Advice for a parent, from parents or diagnosed individuals please...

My son is now 13. When he was young, as little as 3, we figured "there was just something about him, something different". No one has been able to put their finger on it. Though; ADHD, Aspberger's Syndrome, and now a diagnosis: Learning disablitlity, have all been mentionned to this point. He is a quiet boy, non-agressive, but very focused on his focus. My DH and I went for a second opinion, they too would not give a definate diagnosis until he was older. He said our son "could just be immature for his age". We have attended an Asperger Syndrome seminar and highly researched all possible labels mentionned above. Even when he was younger, and even now, we suspect aspergers. He has a diagnosis of a learning disablility, short term memory issues. He has been funded through the school system, has and aid, and IEP, and a lap top in class. This boy who hated reading, now can't take his nose out of a book. He has come a long way already! Yay! However, we still see Asperger behaviors and characteristics. When we ask teachers what their opinion is, every opinion is different from year to year, teacher to teacher. Close family are starting to realize what we were talking about earlier is really there. They are finally starting to recognise him for who he is. That he is somewhat different, and that is who he is. One of my closer friends, who is also and EA/childcare worker, also believes he has Asperger Syndrome. But we both question what the label would do for him. What would it benefit him any further? What are the possible downfalls of a label? Those of you who have dealt with this, or are diagnosed personally. We have a very important question. Would you keep going and look for another diagnosis? Or is the support he is getting enough already? We heistate to go for yet another professionsl opinion, diagnosis and more appointments or tests. He is 13 years old and I do not necessarily want to subject him or his self esteem to even further burden. At what point do we just "leave it alone, leave him alone"... What do you suggest? Thank you for your help and support with this matter. Please note. I am putting myself out there with my true mixed feelings, please be supportive and give real valued advice from your experience. *If this just angers you in any way, just yell out loud and not at me.

Aspergers and elementary

Hi Tera your child is entitled by law to have an education. Does your child require support ALL the time? You should contact the school and work with them to figure out how to have your child be there full time every day. If that requires a one to one aide, then thats what you must work for. If they can make another plan- then push for that. Dont take no for an answer.

Forum Moderator Introduction

My name is Dennis Jones and I am delighted to be the moderator for this forum entitled "Adults On The Spectrum." Although I have not been diagnosed as being on the spectrum (yet), at 52 years old I have had a lifetime of unusual experiences and behaviours that are only now coming into focus as possibly being Aspergers. Knowing what I know now about autism, I can look back at aspects of my life and see how I developed strategies that allowed me to appear as an 'almost normal' child, teenager, and young adult. I am very fortunate to have a wife who is an experienced teacher and has worked with autistic children for several years. Believe it or not, the strategies she uses with these children work with me as well. Social scripting, scheduling, preparing me to deal with change, stress relief, call it 'late intervention' if you will. If I had not married her in 1979, I would not have had the support I needed to complete my university degrees, have a successful career as a scientist, have a happy family, and enjoy my special interests. I look forward to interacting with you in this forum. Feel free to ask me questions anytime. Dennis Adults On The Spectrum Moderator

Diet and supplements

My son's diet does not include a lot of variety, particularly in the vegetable or fruit or fish department. I am starting to wonder whether his lack of focus at school might be related to the fact that he is likely not getting the full range of vitamins, minerals and fish oils. He is 14, quite big for his age, and takes prozac and dexedrine daily. Does anyone have any experience or information about this area?

2 young men 21 & 18 with AS

I am the mom of 2 young men with AS. As a "veteran" dealing with AS (my Mom and her father had AS) I have some advice to share. When my boys were small there was not as much known about AS as today. Therefore, they were 10 & 7 before they received their dx. Fortunately, I was able to get OT, ST, Special Ed, Listening Centre, Hearing Health Care Consultant Group, Social Skills groups, etc. early on without a dx. Like most of you, I have gone through the missed birthday parties, crummy teachers, suspensions, meltdowns, depression, bullying X 2. The advice I would like to share is for you to give your children all the life skills and opportunities you can. If you are busy working or have other children, you could use your ACSD or SSAH government funding to hire workers to accompany them to their activities. Some suggested activities are: Parks & Rec. classes like skating, swimming, cooking, t-ball or sports of any kind. My sons enjoyed Variety Village fieldhouse programs, swim club. Beavers, Cubs, Guides, church children's programs, music lessons, choir, etc. These activities allow them to increase their social skills and self-esteem. The school ran a Circle of Friends social skills group which was facilitated by Extend-a-Family, an agency we were members of. Extend-a-Family offered a sexuality workshop which I took my younger son to. All the opportunities they were exposed to has contributed to how they are doing today. My eldest son is in his third year of a Fitness and Lifestyle Promotion course at college. He is a provincially ranked competitive swimmer who was part of the Vicki Keith crew when she swam Lake Ontario. He paced her in the water and the rest of the time rode alongside her while driving a Zodiac boat. He has his boat licence and his G drivers licence. He has his Level 1 coaching certificate (any sport) and is a certified instructor in High/Low Ropes and Rockwall. My second born son is in his last year of HS where he is preparing to take Photojournalism in college next fall. He plays sax in the school band and that is where he met his girlfriend of 6 months. He is an avid fisherman who has his boat licence and G1 drivers licence. He is starting Young Drivers this weekend. When we realized he was musically inclined, we got organ lessons which he took for 3 years. They have exceeded our wildest imagination and we are proud to be their parents. Mother Nature

Graham and Dennis

Graham, I have been monitoring all of the postings on this website and have noticed a lull in the dialog, as you have. Some postings never receive a response while others have an initial burst of activity and then fall silent. I believe that you and I may be able to stimulate more participation by getting to know each other. Although I have not been diagnosed with Asperger's, I know I am on the spectrum. I will soon be seeing professionals who can make such a diagnosis. Let me begin with something from my childhood - the first part of my story. (I'll keep all of my postings to one or two paragraphs so as not to bore our readers). I am 52 years old with two younger brothers. When I was less than 8 years old, my parents noticed I was a little different than many boys my age. One day in the early 60s, my father gave to me an insert from National Geographic Magazine. It was a star atlas poster showing all of the constellations in the northern and southern skies. I was so thrilled with this poster that I memorized the names of every star and constellation. My father gave me his binoculars and I spent many hours, days, years studying the stars, trying to identify every one. This was the first of my many obsessions. Cheers, Dennis

ATTN Parents with yotuh between the ages of 12-18!

This is an invitation for you to ask your kids if they would like to chat on the forum about being a child with aspergers. I ask you to please encourage your kids to come on and start this forum. Graham Kendall Youth Moderator

Should Schools Suspend Kids With Asperger's Syndrome?

I was just wondering if any of the other parents out there who have children diagnosed with A.S. feel that it's somewhat unfair for schools to suspend their children given the fact that they have a disorder which makes it difficult for them to deal with frustrations, focusing, interacting with their peers? I don't expect school staff to ignore certain behaviours and I certainly don't think kids with A.S. go unpunished but I do however feel that to suspend them is basically like saying the kids can stop their behaviour. In most cases it's the school who suggest the kids be diagnosed so why, once the child has the diagnosis do they continue to treat it like it's simply bad behaviour on the child's part? Are any of the other parents having issues with how their child's school handles things?


My daughter is 5 and has AS. Where are all the girls? there is so little knowledge on what things are like for girls with AS. Are there any out there that can help give some insight. Whats different about having AS as a girl? Chris.

Questions for Graham

Hi Graham, My name is Chris and my daughter Maya has been diagnosed with asperger in august. I have noticed some good advice from you like modulating your voice, remaining nutral and reminding her that I am on her side.(I found that on out on my own, so awesome) If there are any other experiences that you might be able to share, or if any other older aspies especially women might have some insight for me as to how Maya understands me and others, I would love to hear it. Tips on discipline would also be useful, apparently thowing rocks at teachers is not such a good thing. I need to know what is too harsh and what is not harsh enough. Example : Because of thowing rocks at school and before I had a chance to address it she spit at a chair. I took her glasses (no lenses) away. (she loves to wear them) I told her that she could have them back to wear at home after supper if she behaved, but could only wear them to school after a good day. Throwing rocks at people hurts them I told her. She earned the glasses back after supper; she was great. I played with her all night so there wasnt much chance of things going too wrong..except she asked over and over about bringing her glasses tommorow and almost every discussion was as dramatic as the first. I dont know how the morning will be, I will try to keep her occupied but if the glasses thing comes up it could be a bad way to start the day.
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