Parents/Adults Forum

I have an happy, wonderful, almost 5 year old boy who was diagnosed 2 years ago (High Functioning on paper, but they told us Asperger's verbally - at this point, I really don't care about the label). He talks extremely well (since he was 1 1/2 yrs)but everything revolves around his obsession with animals. He can respond when I ask him about what he wants to eat, play with, which books to read, what he wants to do, etc. But, if I ask him anything of a social nature, I get "the duck and the cow","panda begins with the letter..." or some other comment about an animal that has nothing to do with what I'm talking about. Even when I try to have a conversation about animals with him, we can't connect(other than me asking/quizing him questions which he usually gets right). I've spoken to a couple of High functioning and Asperger's kids a little older than my son and they all seem to able to have a conversation that actually makes sense (although their speech was a bit strange). Can anyone out there relate? At what age did things turn around for your child or if it hasn't happen yet, does this mean I never have a "real" conversation with my boy? He will begin school next September (regular classes with a one-to-one aid - we hope)and I every time I think about it, I break down. Speaking of breaking down, I just watch the clip of this movie, and when Adam said that he's been called every bad word and that it made him feel like he wanted to die, I actually felt so much pain, I wanted to die. I'm planning to watch the show tommorow night but don't know if I can handle it if its too powerfullike the clip.

‹ What Can I Do? Aspergers and elementary ›

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I really hear what you are

Submitted by Anonymous on Mon, 2007-04-23 17:25.

I really hear what you are saying. My son was very much the same way, although he is 12 now, and we just got the DX 2 weeks ago. when he was 5, he was a Thomas Loving Aspie, he had watched the shows 24/7, and would model all his play and behaviors after the show. I still remember being told "You are not being a very nice engine!" Or "that boy is a useful engine!" He just did not relate to the fact that people where not "engines"! (LoL!) From 4/5/6/7/8 years of age, he could not tell me about his day. "how was your day?" Response: "Good". Very clipped, single world. Prompts for more info, would usually lead to getting a canned response, of some event that happend weeks ago. We would say "Honey, that happend 3 weeks ago, what did you do "TODAY?" And he just could not reply. It was not until he was 11, that the communication really started to flow. It improved a little year over year from age 8. However at 11, the stories started to come flooding in! Along with Current Events, came events that happend as much as 6 years earlier. It made me cry, as I heard "his story for the very first time". I would take each story and hold it close to my heart. I would let him know "I wish you told me that when it happened, I would have been able to help you, that is why you have to tell me about these sorts of things when they happen". He still has problems, but we where able to return him to school this year, and he was able to keep us up to date on things, give or take a week. He had a lot of problems with bullying, and we where able to advocate for him. Give him time. Try to model conversations for him. See if you have social skills classes available. But calling him out on it, or trying to force him before he is ready, will only cause the door to close more firmly. The only thing I wonder if it may help, is a program like kidspirations. (www.inspirations.com) it is a mapping software, with lots of pictures. Maybe with the pictures, and fun computer format, and the fact you can download images to your computer (you could use animal catroons with facial experessions for example) maybe, just maybe, he might connect with that, and make storyboards of his day, or other things you want to communicate about. I use Inspirations a lot with my 12 year old (the version for older kids) and it has made a world of difference for him. Best wishes! Amanda

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Graham here,

Submitted by Anonymous on Wed, 2007-04-04 00:01.

It will happen. Relax. Just be patient and don't be affraid to give him feed back later on. My mom was there with me and things are just fine now. I'm 20 years old and my ability to converse has greatly improved.

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