Parents/Adults Forum

My son is now 13. When he was young, as little as 3, we figured "there was just something about him, something different". No one has been able to put their finger on it. Though; ADHD, Aspberger's Syndrome, and now a diagnosis: Learning disablitlity, have all been mentionned to this point. He is a quiet boy, non-agressive, but very focused on his focus. My DH and I went for a second opinion, they too would not give a definate diagnosis until he was older. He said our son "could just be immature for his age". We have attended an Asperger Syndrome seminar and highly researched all possible labels mentionned above. Even when he was younger, and even now, we suspect aspergers. He has a diagnosis of a learning disablility, short term memory issues. He has been funded through the school system, has and aid, and IEP, and a lap top in class. This boy who hated reading, now can't take his nose out of a book. He has come a long way already! Yay! However, we still see Asperger behaviors and characteristics. When we ask teachers what their opinion is, every opinion is different from year to year, teacher to teacher. Close family are starting to realize what we were talking about earlier is really there. They are finally starting to recognise him for who he is. That he is somewhat different, and that is who he is. One of my closer friends, who is also and EA/childcare worker, also believes he has Asperger Syndrome. But we both question what the label would do for him. What would it benefit him any further? What are the possible downfalls of a label? Those of you who have dealt with this, or are diagnosed personally. We have a very important question. Would you keep going and look for another diagnosis? Or is the support he is getting enough already? We heistate to go for yet another professionsl opinion, diagnosis and more appointments or tests. He is 13 years old and I do not necessarily want to subject him or his self esteem to even further burden. At what point do we just "leave it alone, leave him alone"... What do you suggest? Thank you for your help and support with this matter. Please note. I am putting myself out there with my true mixed feelings, please be supportive and give real valued advice from your experience. *If this just angers you in any way, just yell out loud and not at me.

‹ Discussion Forums open again ATTN Parents with yotuh between the ages of 12-18! ›

» login to post comments

WOW! Another Mom like Me!

Submitted by Anonymous on Wed, 2007-07-25 01:04.

Go girl! Don't ever lose your fight because our sons need us to stay focused on what is their right as human beings! Don't ever stop doing all of this with your heart either...because, as you have no doubt been reminded many times already, NOBODY WILL FIGHT FOR OUR SONS LIKE WE WILL! I think you and me live not too far from each other, I live on the shores of Lake Erie, near Port Colborne. A brain injury in childhood brought on these wonderful characteristics I live with daily, anxiety, spirit, the drive to survive...after all, I had too much to prove when 5 different specialists at Sick Kids told my parents I would probably finish elementary school "with a lot of extra help, etc., etc." To make a long story short, I have a medical background (work that is, not a diagnosis HA! HA!) and to this day, I still take what people give me, or "dish out" as a challenge that I have to prove to myself I can do it. How do I give my son that? You would think that with my survival skills so well developed, as the neuro-psychologist told me at my son's assessment, that I would be able to train my son to be that much stronger, so he could survive too, since him and me are two peas in a pod. They turned around and said that I have been coaching my son all along and this is probably why it was so difficult to diagnose him. Personally, I think that is the biggest pile of you-know-what! Anyway, I wanted you to know that you deserve a pat on the shoulder for your strength and courage and drive...I hope you will allow me to be part of your support system. Mom in Ontario

» login to post comments

Hi there it is a complicated

Submitted by Anonymous on Sat, 2007-03-03 10:28.

Hi there it is a complicated issue, the issue of whether to label or not. In our case we did, and while it was mostly positive, there are also some negatives. From your description of the aupport your son is currently getting, I do not really see the point of continuing to subject him to experts and examiniation and testing in pursuit of a label. It sounds like he is doing well with the supports currently in place. As the mom of a 14 year old with AS, I would advise you to get do whatever you can to foster relationships and help him work on his social skills, the best way being to create lots of opportunities for him to socialize. Having a friend or 2 is one of the most important things for these kids. Of course there is nothing to stop you reading all the helpful books on AS out there and use the information to support him. There are many "unlabeled" adults with AS out there who are doing fine, or doing as well as any of us- fine some days and not so fine others.

» login to post comments