In case you don't know, I'm a 20 year old suffering from AS. I have been attending UVic for almost a year now as a 3rd year sociology major. Recently I have been having many doubts as to whether or not this is the field I want to be in. I like the idea of trying to see how these things work in society but I have been realizing more and more that this just isn't what I really want to do with my life.
However, this is the problem. As a person with AS I will probably be spending my life changing my options 20 more times and I hate the fact that this is the sad cold reality. I will never be happy with where I'm going and the changes will always be in the back of my head. I love this life but its really getting to a down point. I find these fits of anger and confusuion are becoming more and more frequent.
School isn't going as planned and I'm beginning to realize that art or some sort of design is probably my forte. I've always enjoyed it and my dad has always left it there.
What I would really enjoy though is a break from the realities of school. Go to australia or New Zealand and just relax, surf and do some soul searching. I need a better idea as to what I want from this life and I'm tired of trying to justify it to my parents, who also happen to be paying for my education right now. It is difficult to give up on something you've almost finished. It seems degrading and leaves me in great question of what successes I may actually achieve. Too much seems to be going on in my house, with my brothers, a renovation which seems to be clogging my parents minds of any outside activity. My parents bring their work home, to the dinner table and whenever I just want to talk to them both I find myself interupting a conversation about work. They love me, I won't deny that and I love them as well. But it seems now that every conversation they have is a business meeting.
Maybe when I come back I'll be at UBC and be going for a degree in architecture and environmental deign. Who knows.
This is just to give you parents and inside look at whats going on in an older childs life. Let me know if this helps.
Graham Kendall
kendall.graham@gmail.com
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